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4. Are you
tired of fighting over home work and school grades?
The reason children don't do well on grades or complete
homework is they see no need to.
Where there is no need there is no motivation!
How do you find those Hot Buttons?
We
act or move (behave) to satisfy our needs...real or
imaginary. The more intense the need, the stronger
we are motivated to satisfy that need.
Sound familiar?
For
hours mother has been after Tommy (12) to turn off
his Nintendo game and do his homework. He has not
complied even after being told several times.
The Principle of Need
The
story is told of a 16 year old boy who had been lost
in the hills around his home for three days. His father
finally found him and brought him home in the family
pick-up truck. The boy had survived on a couple of
candy bars and a little water. Needless to say he
was very thirsty and hungry when he got home.
As
he came in the front door he immediately smelled the
aroma of bacon and eggs...and waffles cooking in the
kitchen. His mother's teary eyes were full of joy
as she gave him kisses and a big hug.
"Where
have you been, son? Are you all right?" she blurted.
"Mom...I'm
fine...Really...I'm just hungry...I think I could
eat a cow!"
"Wonderful!
We can eat as soon as you clean your bedroom and bathroom."
"Mom!
You can't be serious! Let me eat first...and then
I'll do my chores."
"No.
You know the rules, 'Chores must always be done before
we eat".
"But,
Mom.....!" He pleads...but to no avail.
In
this simple story a very important principle is illustrated.
In a second or two Johnny was busy working and in
a just few minutes his chores were completely done...and
a good job too! Then he sat down and ate all the bacon
and eggs he wanted along with several waffles. In
fact, he ate so much that he could hardly walk...so
he went into the front room and lay down on the carpet
and groaned.
Johnny's
dad was really impressed and asked, "How did you
get him to do his chores so fast? I can't get him
to do a thing, not even his homework!"
Johnny's
mother was a lot smarter than Tommy's or Sara's. She
understood that need was the motivating force
behind all behavior. She knew that Johnny
was hungry and his motivation level was equal to his
hunger need. So mom explained the simple principle
to dad.
Need
= Motivation and Motivation = Action.
Johnny's
dad was very impressed! So, he went right into the
front room where Johnny was on his back stretching
out his fat tummy so it wouldn't hurt so much. Dad
had been after his son for a week to take care of
some yard work..
"Hey
Johnny!" he called, "If you will go out right
now and mow the front and back lawns and trim the
hedges...mom will cook you up some more waffles and
bacon and eggs."
Mom just smiled as Johnny groaned and rolled over,
because she knew that:
A
Need Once satisfied...is No Longer Motivating...because
it is no longer a need!
Why
did Johnny clean his bedroom and bathroom so quickly?
Because it was his turn? Because he liked to live
in a clean and orderly home? Because he loved his
mom and wanted to take some of her workload off? Because
those chores needed to be done? Because he loved to
work? No! No! No! He was hungry (need) and those 'need
satisfiers' (bacon, eggs and waffles) smelled so good
they made him hungrier than ever!
Needs drive motivation. It is that
simple. Motivation never exceeds the need
level. Need is the fuel for the engine of motivation.
The more fuel (need) you provide, the faster the engine
(motivation) runs. No fuel and the engine stops...add
lots of fuel and the engine races. A child with only
a little need will work accordingly. A child with
a serious need will be willing to work hard to satisfy
that need.
How
to apply these principles to your kids:
Kudos! For Kids system shows parents how to create
needs for their children so they will be motivated
to do their own homework and get better grades.
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