How can I stop my kids from constantly bickering and quarreling?
        How can I stop my son from taking drugs?
        How can I get my kids to do their homework without all the hassle?
        How can I get my kids to pick up after themselves?
        How can I get my kids to help a little around the house without having to beg or threaten them?
        How can I get my kids to be more courteous and respectful to us as their parents?
        How can I get my kids to be more appreciative for all we do for them?
        How can I get my kids to not be so lazy and wasteful?
        How can I stop my child from sneaking out at night?
        How can I prevent my son from running away again?
        How can I get my daughter to stop associating with her loser friends?
        How can I get my kids to respect curfew and a few simple rules at home?
        How can I get my daughter to stop lying and stealing?

        To properly answer such questions as these is like trying to explain calculus to someone in a sentence or two. But it can be done: First: Kids don't do what they should do because there is no need to do what they should do. Second: They don't stop doing what they should not be doing because they see no need to stop doing what they should not be doing. These are the correct answers but parents must first understand the answers.

        If one takes notice one can see that all the questions listed above are rooted in the assumption that parents are supposed to be able to control their kids. However, every student of human behavior knows that one individual cannot control another. When a child is very young it is true you can control him by physically removing him from the busy street and putting him in the back yard and locking the gate.

        However, as children get older our control over them reduces to zero. If a teenage girl is absolutely determined to find alcohol or drugs to get stoned, sooner or later she will be able to find them and there is not a thing a parent can do about it. The universe was not set up so that worried parents could protect their children from such temptations.

        To really understand how to answer all the questions asked above parents must understand that:

        ALL BEHAVIOR IS DRIVEN BY PERSONAL NEED!
        Kids don't study because they don't NEED to.
        Kids are not respectful or helpful because there is no NEED to be.
        They do not listen or obey because there is no NEED to.
        They fight and quarrel because there is no NEED to stop.
        They do not pick up after themselves or clean their rooms because there is no NEED to.
        Kids are lazy and wasteful because there is no NEED to work and be frugal.

        The control paradigm teaches parents that they should be able to control their kids. It soon becomes obvious to any thinking person that the control paradigm is blatantly false. Therefore parents had better find a better parenting philosophy.

        Our solution is simple but powerful: Since parents can't control their kids they had better learn how to motivate them. Motivation to action is always caused by some NEED. Kids who have been provided with everything have no needs and so parents become naggers and punishers trying to get their kids to do what they should be doing. The Parenting Solution teaches parents how to create a home environment with NEED that motivates kids to do what they should be doing.